


i want to be the one you're looking at

by queerghost



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Canon Continuation, F/F, Fluff, Getting to Know Each Other, Lesbian Rey (Star Wars), Post-Canon, Slightly Oblivious Rey, it is """implied""" tho, rey is an ace lesbian, the entire squadron ships it, they don't even kiss i'm sorry, this is the purest thing ever ok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-06
Updated: 2016-02-06
Packaged: 2018-05-18 09:14:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5920789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queerghost/pseuds/queerghost
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“But, anyways, if you ever wanted to fly around for a bit, get some proper lessons or something, not that you need them I’m just, you know, I’m sure you’re busy but if you had some time I could, we could, take my x-wing for a ride? If you wanted to. It’s up to you.” </p><p>Rey smiles, looking down at Jessika’s fidgeting hands. </p><p>“That would be lovely, thank you.” </p><p>-</p><p>Or, the one where Jessika pines and Rey is confused but happy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i want to be the one you're looking at

**Author's Note:**

> ahhhh ok.  
> this is the first fic i've actually liked enough to think about publishing so here! have it, i guess.  
> i live for femslash tbh so this was going to happen at some point eventually.  
> anyway, enjoy.
> 
> (title taken from the song Falling Fallen by The Reverb Junkie)

If there was something Rey loved to do was to observe people, read their expressions, their emotions, how they reacted to certain things. It was something that not only was she encouraged to do, but that she enjoyed immensely. Luke didn’t approve of her using Jedi mind tricks for trivial matters, but it was always fun to dip her toes into what her friends were feeling, how their emotions shifted throughout the day. 

There was one person in particular that Rey was constantly fascinated by.

Jessika Pava piloting under the name of Blue Three, Poe Dameron’s good friend and colleague, had always such different responses to her. 

Before they met, Finn had described her as someone inherently “cool”, witty and funny but still kind to him despite every circumstance. Rey had the habit to like anyone who was kind to her friends. He had told her she had been one of the most eager to see him and Poe finally a couple, before they managed to, quote, get their shit together. 

Whenever Finn talked about how long it had taken for them both to talk about how they felt for each other Rey’s only reaction was laughter. She had barely met Poe before leaving Finn alone to look for Skywalker and yet it had already been clear that the pilot was completely smitten for Finn from day one.

It was good, though, seeing them around now; holding hands and kissing each other cheeks, utterly comfortable with themselves and their affection for each other. It seemed now like that was how it had been from the start. 

Rey couldn’t remember a day in her life when she had received that much affection or had felt as comfortable with anyone in that way, or any, for that matter. 

There had been a girl back in Jakku, a smuggler. Rey knew she wasn't human, but had never actually discovered the girl's exact species, or cared about it too much. All she knew was that she was beautiful regardless. The smuggler would show up from time to time, invite Rey for a drink at a dirty bar not far from where she usually worked. Sometimes, Rey’d say yes and they would have fun and complain about whatever there was to complain about at the time (see: a lot) while joking about stupid things and it would feel almost perfect; until the girl started touching her in ways that felt weird and uncomfortable. 

When that happened, Rey would jump on her speeder and go back home, wondering why she didn’t feel the same way as the girl even if she made her smile so much. When the girl stopped coming to Jakku Rey didn't care enough to look for a reason why. 

The pilot, Jessika, made Rey smile too. They had never talked too much alone, but when the pilots ate in the mess hall and Finn made Rey sit with them she would listen to Jessika talking about her missions as Blue Three, listen to her tell stories, some she had been a part of, some she had heard from different people all over the galaxy. Somehow, Rey always found herself laughing along with everyone else, a feeling so new to her it was almost frightening.

Jessika exuded confidence during those moments. She was sure of herself, sure of her wit and her competence as a storyteller, no matter what the other pilots joked about, she always had a comeback at hand. Tough, when their eyes met and she seemed to realize Rey was looking at her as well, it was tangible how much she changed. Rey could feel her become more self conscious, awkward and yet seemingly proud of herself at the same time. 

Maybe it was only Rey who could feel it, but maybe it wasn’t that at all. Rey wasn’t oblivious, she saw the way the remaining members of Jessika’s squadron raised eyebrows whenever she repeated one or two syllables during one of those moments. It made her feel weird, like she somehow had power over the pilot. Stupid idea. 

She wondered what exactly about her had such effect on the other girl, but she hadn’t had a chance to really get to know Jessika, in between training as a Jedi and spending most of her free time with Finn and BB-8. General Organa, too, liked to borrow her from time to time, wishing only to talk about her brother and his intent to be readjusted in society anytime soon. Rey hated to be the bearer of bad news so many times, especially to someone who deserved so much more than what life had given her, but it had to be done.

There were moments like these, too, when she would retire to the gym and train by herself while everyone else was busy with duty. She enjoyed it, it was familiar, something she could hold onto whenever it all got too chaotic or overwhelming. Still, training in a public space always left room for interruptions.

“You can come in, I don’t mind.” She says, not moving from one of the positions Master Luke had taught her. It was exciting, how she was already so in tune with the force that she was able to sense a presence around her with as much ease as if she were to be using her sight. “It’s probably better to have someone here too, in case I bury myself under a pile of weights.”

That, to some extent, was a joke, but Rey didn't want to become too cocky over her abilities with the force. 

“Oh, I- I don’t think I’m the most qualified… I mean, I can hardly lift one of those, really, I’m no good for you.” Rey smiles as she feels the force around the girl she had just been thinking about. “And, to me, you seem to have it covered.” 

With that, the she closes her eyes, focusing on the force surrounding each and every weight she had positioned around herself, willing them to move slowly back in place and turning around to face the pilot.

“I guess I do.” She says, smiling welcomingly at her companion.

Jessika isn't wearing her pilot uniform or any of the clothes she had worn to dinner before. Instead she wears what Rey presumes to be the default workout clothes inside the rebellion, thigh pants made with stretching fabric that allows undisturbed movement and a tight top that leaves Jessika’s stomach and arms uncovered. 

She also notices that Jessika seems to be blushing slightly, unless she had already been exercising outside the gym. 

“I’m sorry if I interrupted something, I mean, I know Jedi training is not a piece of cake. I wouldn’t want you to get behind on whatever it is you're doing.”

Rey contains a laugh at the pilot, seeing her attempt at sounding uninterested and nonchalant. 

"It’s fine really, Master Luke has already covered all of the basics, this is just so I don’t loose my tempo.”

Jessika takes a deep breath, looking at the floor, back at Rey, at the floor and back at the Jedi again. 

“I'm sorry, but I can’t believe you’ve actually met Luke Skywalker.” She seems embarrassed to even say it, but there's a dreamy look in her eyes Rey knows well enough. “You’re probably sick of hearing people ask about him, I'm sure there's much more to you than "the girl who met Skywalker".” 

Rey smiles broadly at the pilot. It is, indeed, something a lot of people, especially the males inside the base, like to forget about her. Still, she was used to people not taking an interest in her, it was not like she was looking for attention inside the resistance, or anywhere for that matter. 

“No, really, I get where the curiosity comes from. Especially from a pilot.” 

“So he told you about piloting?" The girls tone grows more excited by the second. "Kriff, I can’t even imagine talking to Luke Skywalker about anything, let alone piloting. Actually no,” she says between a giggle “I can imagine because I have before. In multiple occasions.”  
 “Sorry to disappoint, but he doesn’t really talk much about any of that. Though I’ve hear the stories just the same.”

“Oh. Pity.” Her smile drops for a second, but soon returns with full force. “I mean, you must want to know about it too don’t you? Finn told us you’re also a pilot. And a good one”

“I wouldn’t say that I’m a pilot, but I can fly a ship if the situation calls for it.”

“Self-taught?” 

“Hmm. Had a computer program back in Jakku, t’was a fun pastime during sandstorms.”

Jessika raises her eyebrows at that. “So you didn’t even have an actual ship to practice in? Impressive.” 

Rey can feel the heat rise up to her cheeks and tells herself it's simply a side-effect of all the exercise she had been doing all afternoon. 

“I had no money to rent one for practice and even if I had, there would be no one willing to rent one to a human girl. The computer had to do.” 

“That’s really… Wow. Is there anything you can’t do Rey?”

Yep. Definitely the extensive exercise. 

“For one I’m terrible at spelling. Can’t really cook, too. Or play cards, I’m sure your squadron has told you all about that.” 

At that Jessika lets out a laugh Rey had only heard a couple of times before, unfortunately. The scavenger is almost sure her laugh is one the loveliest things she has ever heard. 

“I’m sure you’re exaggerating.” Jessika says, shaking her head at Rey as if she couldn’t quite believe her. There's that brilliant smile again, and Rey can't help but beam back at the girl. 

Suddenly the girl takes another deep breath, twisting strands of her hair between her hair, deciding against it and placing her hands on her hips. 

“But, anyways, if you ever wanted to fly around for a bit, get some proper lessons or something, not that you need them I’m just, you know, I’m sure you’re busy but if you had some time I could, we could, take my x-wing for a ride? If you wanted to. It’s up to you.” 

Rey smiles, looking down at Jessika’s fidgeting hands. 

“That would be lovely, thank you.” 

They share a smile in silence and Rey seems to completely forget she was there for any reason in particular, or that she had any intentions of leaving to attend to whatever the hell she had to do next. Finally, whe it occurs to her that Jessika is probably being poilite and waiting to use the gym, she breaks their stare.

“You probably want to-"

"I should probably-" 

“Jess there you are! The General needs you to clear something that came up on a report I- Oh, hey Rey.”

“Hi Poe.” She says, looking down as if she's been caught doing something she wasn't supposed to. Well, technically she is supposed to have been training, but doubts Poe is there to police her about it. 

Instead, he looks back at Jessika with a puzzled expression. 

“I didn’t know you two were together.”

“We’re not.” Jessika pipes up. “We just bumped into each other. Rey was training and I was going to run for a bit.” 

“Inside?” 

“Yes, inside Dameron. On the treadmills. Have you heard?”

“I have actually. It’s amazing what technology can do these days isn’t it Testor? Amazing.” He smiles, but it isn't exactly friendly. Mischievous is more the word for it. “It doesn’t matter anyway, you need to come with me now. General’s orders Jess.” His expression changes, seeming genuinely sorry to have to keep Jessika from running.

Rey mentally curses herself for the wave of disappointment that rushes through her when Jessika turns around to gather her things. 

“Guess I’ll see you later then Rey.” Jessika says, turning to her just before she and Poe, who waves goodbye as well, leave the gym. A few moments pass and just as she's about to turn around and resume her exercises, she can hear muffled screaming coming from outside.

“I’M GONNA KRIFFING MURDER YOU DAMERON!!!”

Rey laughs to herself.  
-  
Later, when Rey sits down to eat with Poe, Finn and their friends, she notices the unusual absence of the one she had met earlier in the day, who had managed to remain in the back of her thoughts for the remaining of the day. It seems weird, to eat without the background noise of her energetic voice, joking around with everyone else. 

Rey doesn't realize she's staring at the empty place the pilot usually sits at, but she must be, because suddenly Poe detaches himself from the ongoing conversation and turns back to her.  
 “She got caught up in paperwork, y’know how it goes, one line comes out wrong and suddenly they require the entire report to be reviewed.” He says, in a slightly lower voice than the one he had been using before. “General Organa likes to be through.” 

“I see.” Rey nods, not really sure why he's telling her that in the first place. “Is she going to eat later then?”  
 “I’m not sure actually. She probably has some instant rations or something stocked up, so she might eat that if she remembers to.” 

“No one deserves to eat rations when there’s another option. Someone ought to bring her something.” 

That seems to catch the attention of the other pilots, who turn back to Rey with curious expressions.

“Well, it’s not gonna be me love, I’ve got an appointment with my bed in, what, five minutes? I really should get going actually." Snap says, with a playful smile on his face. "Actually, I think everyone's too exhausted for the task." 

Poe turns back to her again, looking far too amused with the situation. 

“Why don’t you do it?”

“Me?”

“Sure Rey, your quarters are closest to hers. If you’re worried about her you should do it.” Finn chimes in, resting his head on his boyfriends shoulder, both of them looking at her expectantly. 

“I’m not worried I just- I’m,” Rey wonders if the two plan on ever stopping looking at her like that. “You know what? I’ll do it. Why wouldn't I?”

“Exactly. ” Finn smiles at her. "No reason why not."

Rey decides to ignore the giggles behind her as she gets up, grabbing a tray for Jessika and moving out into the corridor that leads to the female section of the sleeping quarters. 

When she finally gets there, it's a good thirty seconds before she moves to knock on her door. After a few moments Jessika answers. 

“Oh, Rey.” She looks surprised to see her, or anyone for that matter, and Rey can't blame her. It's late, later than the appropriate time for visits at the very least.

Jessika's clearly not expecting company anytime soon, seeing all she has on is a tank top and sweatpants, hair held up in a singular bun. The girl looks tired, muffling a yawn on her sleeve as she looks up and down and sees the tray Rey carries. “You really didn’t have to, I wasn’t expecting anyone to actually come.”

“It’s fine,” she says, because it really is. “couldn’t let you starve could I?”

Jessika smiles, looking back into her cramped quarters.

“Kriff, this place is a mess, I'm sorry. You really didn't have to do this you know?”

“I guess not. Couldn’t bare the thought of you eating instant rations though.”

“Of course.” Her smile grew bigger. “So, do you wanna come in? I mean-“

“Yes sure, don’t really have anything scheduled right now do I?”

Jessika purses her lips, a small smile dancing on her lips as she looks back at the contents on the girl's hand. 

“Cool.” She says, moving out of Rey’s way into the room and closing the door behind her. “You can leave the tray by the table.”

The Jedi walks up to what seems to be Jessika’s working station. Apart from a computer screen there are also a couple holograms showing different blueprints of what seems to be the same building scattered around the area. 

“Poe said you were only working on a report.” She says, setting the food on a free space and taking a seat on one of the two chairs available, apart from an overstuffed armchair in the corner. 

“It escalated." The pilot rubs the back of her head and moves to sit down next to her. " I mean, there’s always work to be done around here, really. I dare you to find a single person who’s not a bit overworked.” 

She laughs a little, starting on the now lukewarm food. “Kriff you were right, this is way better than damned instant rations.” 

“Obviously.” Rey looks around for a bit, waiting patiently as her companion devours her dinner. “So, can you tell me about the work you’re doing Jessika?” 

To be fair, small talk is not a skill she had the chance to develop during her years as a lonely scavenger.

“Oh, call me Jess please. Or Testor. Anything but Jessika, only my mom calls me that.” Jess says, taking a drink of water. “And that’s all battle plans pretty much. I’m trying to correct the mistakes we made on our last mission, but it’s mostly boring routine work.” 

“I’m sorry, uh, Jess. Sorry about that.” 

“No problem.” The girl smiles at Rey again. She's staring to make a habit of giving Rey these incredible smiles and the Jedi doesn't quite get why. 

“So, you’re a Luke Skywalker fan then?”

That was one of the pieces of information about the pilot that had stuck out to her, not only that afternoon, but during their previous encounters. The girl had the habit of going on and on about Skywalker and all the incredible tales she had heard about him. Rey loved it. 

Jess seems to blush a little at that, but Rey doesn't comment on it. It is a bit stuffy inside anyways.

“I mean, I guess I am aren’t I? When you grow up hearing these amazing stories about this one person you learn to… admire them.” Rey raises her eyebrows and Jess sighs in defeat. “Oh who am I kidding, I’m obsessed with the guy.” 

Rey can't help but giggle at that, trying to keep her laughter concealed behind her palm but failing miserably to. 

"Hey! Don't laugh at me!" Jess is clearly trying to look offended, but failing as well.

All it takes is one look and suddenly they're both laughing uncontrollably, more at themselves then at what the pilot had actually said. It's all so completely new to Rey, she really should be scared for herself. Somehow, that's not the case. 

When they finally manage to stop to take a breath, she notices that somehow her right hand ended up holding onto the pilot’s arm, their legs touching under the table and heads curved down in each others direction. 

There is the smile again and Rey has no idea what's happening to her now. She smiles back, before taking another breath. 

"It's ok. I won't judge you on that. The man is impressive."

"I've got the feeling his newest apprentice is just as incredible as the man itself. And she's here, too."

Jess bites her lip after saying that, as if she regrets it somehow, and Rey swears she feels something inside her stomach bubbling. 

She can feel the force around Jess as well now, just like she had during the moments their eyes would meet, or they would share a joke. Only it's much stronger, clearer. Still, she trusts the pilot and for some reason it feels different than what it had been with the girl in Jakku. Safer. 

Rey takes a deep breath, sinking in the chair and placing her legs under herself. 

“So about those flying lessons you promised me?” She says, a grin on her face. 

Jessika smiles again. 

“We’re gonna have to make sure they happen, won’t we?”

**Author's Note:**

> so there's that i guess. maybe i'll write a sequel where they actually kiss or hug? wow, imagine that. 
> 
> regardless, i hope you enjoyed reading this.


End file.
